A new slate

Pics that make me smile on some days

2012-01-16T20:15:00.002+08:00

In the days of Hatred and Fear,we constantly oversee the beauty that is out there. Take for example a rock star/punk culture letting a small kid touch his spikes, we wouldn't expect that nor would we expect the boy to be fearless and approach the 'bandit'.

What don't we see, we have forgotten that once we were not judgmental towards the media splash info era. We once told ourselves, ' They are weird but they look cool' until our parents who were clearly brainwashed by the several outputs of media and informed us 'NO NO, they are the bad apple, BAD PEOPLE. Don't be like them' and some even go to the extend of defaming them by saying they are unhygienic or scandalous with no faith or respect to others.

We always see people from the outer layer or their clothing but have it ever cross your mind that a person hygiene or well being is more than just the clothes they wear but more of how they clean themselves. Take a look around and wonder whether the people around you ever put in effort in cleaning certain parts of their body which are known to be the most conducive breeding area for GERMS and what-not?

Reposting something that is happening again.

2011-08-30T00:53:00.000+08:00

Posted on Oct 1, 2007

The three words that is hard to say

You know people always say that the 3 words that is hard to say is "I love you"
After doing some reading in online,
Believe it or not, the 3 hardest word to get from a guy is "I miss you"

Its so hard to trust the other gender

2011-08-24T12:40:00.002+08:00

I am not being a male chauvinist pig but i started to loose trust on the other gender. Some people would say that i am stereotyping but i couldn't help it because that's what i am seeing and had experience. Maybe this is stereotype only falls under certain group of people.

Most people would say that we should treasure and keep those you love and care close to you away from harms, but what if your love ones are the one that is freaking clueless about your intention and believes that they are the most advance creature on earth and therefore they would not be cheated easily.

There are some who said that a Male will never understand the other gender whereas the other gender can read Male. Well i beg to differ this is because some other genders are so freaking oblivious of the signals and moves the Male counterpart is taking. The fact is Male will understand and know what other Male's intention and other gender doesn't, they seem to understand because they have a Male friend telling them(Duh).

Lastly, the norm people will always say that the other other gender is much more affectionate than Male, then i would say the norm people should stop reading facts instead look at the facts. There are Males out there who way affectionate that the other gender takes advantage of the qualities. True to one man? That is a debatable statement because there are some of the other gender that will look for other Males even though they have one true loyal Male. So who is the greedy one?

PS:This was written out of anger and sadness pardon the narcissistic side of me.

Please stop using me like a TOY

2011-07-18T13:11:00.002+08:00

Back to blogging

2011-06-27T17:52:00.003+08:00

Hi to anyone that even bothers to google my name and found out that i have a blog actually so Hi there. I got no followers and i made this blog just to write my thoughts online and thus hoping that one day when i forget everything that has ever happen to me and when i google my name i might bump into this blog again. It has been 5 years since i had a girlfriend or back then it was called 'stead' and since then i had no other i have yet to grabs or catches anyone's attention (ladies i meant). Will update more with more character and flavour.

More Photos of yesteryears

2011-06-27T17:45:00.002+08:00

First week

2011-01-31T00:01:00.000+08:00

just minutes before this post is published my dad asked me bout 'you' and i said 'you' are busy with work.
5 minutes later my mum ask me, 'dad wanna ask you, so long never see 'you' already?' and i said the same thing 'you' are busy.
So i hope you see that when i bring someone in my life they will always be readily accepted by my family and my peers.
Yes i am annoying to many but i was hoping you wouldn't rake up the past mistakes over and over again cause its telling me how unworthy is my presence to 'you'. I AM SORRY

Long Lost Photos Part 1

2011-01-23T13:04:00.007+08:00

Just have to listen to the song..fits today's local sports news

2011-01-20T13:00:00.001+08:00

Watch "Kopi Kat Klan - Sivaji Football Song" on YouTube

Good day and Good night

2011-01-19T22:22:00.001+08:00

Drillings, daily drillings

Banging, daily banging

All the drilling and banging,

All done behind the coveted wall,

But yet the windows are wide open.

Any spectators?

i shall not say these things to you

2011-01-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

It 's a beautiful night, we 're looking for
something dumb to do
Hey baby , I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes , or is it this dancing
juice
Who cares baby , I think I wanna marry you
Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard
We can go
No one will no
Now it 's on girl
Who cares if we're trashed
Got a pocket full of cash we can blow
Shots of Patron
Baby let 's go
Don 't say no no no no no
Just say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
And we'll go go go go go
If you're ready , like I 'm ready
' Cause it 's a beautiful night , we're looking for
something dumb to do
Hey baby , I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing
juice
Who cares baby , I think I wanna marry you
Oh
I 'll go get a ring
Let the choir bell sing like ooh
So what you wanna do
Lets just run girl
If we wake up and you want to break up
That 's cool
No I won 't blame you
It was fun girl
Don 't say no no no no no
Just say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
And we'll go go go go go
If you're ready , like I 'm ready
' Cause it 's a beautiful night , we're looking for
something dumb to do
Hey baby , I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes , or is it this dancing
juice
Who cares baby , I think I wanna marry you
Just say I do
Tell me right now baby
Tell me right now baby , baby
Just say I do
Tell me right now baby
Tell me right now baby , baby
Oh
It 's a beautiful night, we 're looking for
something dumb to do
Hey baby , I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes , or is it this dancing
juice
Who cares baby , I think I wanna marry you

Photos of yester-years

2010-12-16T01:20:00.002+08:00

i really do.

2010-12-16T01:17:00.000+08:00

This is a nice sweet song hope YOU love it.

Picture perfect memories , scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause , I can 't fight it any more .
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind .
For me it happens all the time.

It 's a quarter after one, I 'm all alone and I need you now .
I said I wouldn 't call but I lost all control and I need you now .
And I don 't know how I can do without , I just need you now .

Another shot of whiskey, can 't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind .
For me it happens all the time.

It 's a quarter after one, I 'm a little drunk and I need you now .
I said I wouldn 't call but I lost all control and I need you now .
And I don 't know how I can do without , I just need you now .

I guess I 'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all .
It 's a quarter after one, I 'm all alone and I need you now .
And I said I wouldn 't call , but I 'm a little drunk and I need you now .
And I don 't know how I can do without , I just need you now .

I just need you now .
Oh baby I need you now .

AMIRUL ARE YOU DUMB OR STUPID?

2010-10-28T00:20:00.001+08:00

DUMB OR STUPID?
can't u see u are nothing to her
WASTING FOR NOTHING
u wasted ur past few months
SACRIFICES FOR OTHERS
did i ignore others for u
NON-OWNERSHIP
u don't belong with me
PATHETIC
how bout asking for pity
DESPRATE
wow u really stoop that low
DUMB OR STUPID?
i would say both

a piece of tissue

2010-10-16T18:02:00.000+08:00

how do u feel now?
ans : like a piece of tissue.
why?
ans : cos when ppl needs me they find me but when they found something better they disregard me.
are everyone like that?
ans : in my life it is. they take me for granted and they would just wouldnt bother. first they look for me when they need me then when they found what they hope for they just enjoy forgetting about me. i dont care if u remember me or not but please think of my feelings. i am human too.

its all fantasy

2010-10-09T17:26:00.001+08:00

u know the stories about a guy caring about the girl cause he just can't see her there crumbling for another guy who doesn't even know the disturbing truth?
ans : YES
how about a guy watching a girl from far making sure she is always happy even though it does not really mean that he gains anything from it?
ans : YES
so have you ever wonder why they make these movies?
ans : NOPE
here is the reason, because asses like you(me) buys all this. well its not always sweet endings like those in the disney channel movie or those on tv. experience it yourself then u will understand.
conclusion : a looser will always loose. :) suck ur thumb and continue living.

hey there

2010-10-08T15:47:00.000+08:00

Hey there, its been ages since i met you.
qns : so how have you been?
ans : lately not a fairytale anymore.
qns : why is that so? did something happen?
ans : well its more of someone, but i brought myself to it.
qns : so is that someone special?
ans : well yep or else i wouldn't be feeling this way.
qns : so care to share?
ans : well let's just say that i shall start to learn the quote that goes let the past be past and look forward to the future.
qns : so have you move forward?
ans : not for the past 5 yrs.
qns : so u must have been miserable?
ans : not really cos back then i didn't know the truth but now i do. i don't think i can handle the truth.

Complicated

2010-07-12T21:50:00.001+08:00

Complication is the main ingredient and to top it off a dash of anger and stress. No matter what the wrapping makes it happy and joyous.

Failure

2010-07-11T22:27:00.001+08:00

Hello stranger

Hello stranger how do you do

You were the stranger I know

And you are becoming a stranger now to me.

Hello stranger forgive me

I know I've been missing in your life all this while

And I know I can never be who you want me to be

Hello stranger I really am sorry

Did I make you feel uncomfortable?

Did I hurt you?

Hello stranger I wish I'm not a stranger to you

I wish that you will be mine long time ago

And I wish you would not have the perception of guys now

Hello stranger not all guys are who you think they are

I'm not sure what the future holds for me

Nor do I know what we would be if I we were not strangers

Hello stranger I miss you a lot.

Sincerely with love

Amirul

Hello sun

2010-07-11T04:15:00.001+08:00

Good morning Sun

It was nice to be out again in the wee morning, but sadly the star of my recent reborn life could not be with me. In addition the clouds are covering the sky hiding the twinkle and smile from it.

To my dear clouds please watch over my star cause I might be down here but my heart has always been with it.

Sincerely with love

Amirul

Morning

2010-07-10T02:02:00.001+08:00

Good morning

Thanks for leaving your scent on my bed. I'll always have you for now.

With love

Amirul

Letter

2010-07-09T00:50:00.003+08:00

good morning

its been ages i've last visited my own blog not to mention updating it. i guess i've waited long enough not to update it and now i've decided to update it. all this while i've always hoped that the airplanes in the skies are the shooting star cause i so wanna take a photo of it. 5 is the magic number this year and 3 is the lucky number. 5 in the history not repeating itself and 3 was with a partner but left behind.

with love

amirul

Letter

2010-07-09T00:50:00.001+08:00

great things

2009-12-22T16:39:00.000+08:00

if I were to stay in the bubble I'm very comfortable with then why must I burst the bubble and stepped out of it into the world that is not welcoming to anyone anymore. why must you leave? you left but you came back then you leave again. am I a ragdoll?

Night Thoughts

2009-12-19T00:25:00.001+08:00

With you around i don't feel different but i just felt comfortable. Though we aren't an item but we acted as one and talking to you seems different. The conversation we had so far feels like as though we aren't just merely two people talking about something. From the day we celebrated birthday together till the day i break fast at your place i cherish everything. I've been trying to understand what you like or prefer and distance the actions you might get annoyed but whenever i tried i just felt it wasn't me. We ended the 'conversation' not on a subtle note and to me its a major move from messaging for years to someone i knew for few months in a place where miracles happened to me. I just wonder whether you have about me cause i know i haven't been able to.

The day is about to end and the feeling that i have already lost you all started in the morning but its still surging through my veins pass my heart and draw memories. Gosh, woots, and 'listen!' were the words that kept playing in mind. These captions do attached to you.

Nothing triggered me to reminisce of the past till i started watching 'High School Musical' and it all started suddenly. So how am i to handle all this? Hope i could find a solution.

Yes after this week it would be a whole 2 weeks of attachment and its in clementi. Some nights i lay on the bed thinking why i choose to be different and not just go through the norm like most NS personnel. I just want to prove my past that i'm worthy much more worthy now. I guess if coincidence happen to be nice then i would just meet some of my friends while on duty or just bump into you. I always wonder what would we do or talk about if one day we see each other on the streets, would i have the courage to say hi or even if did would you acknowledge it. I suppose its subjective depends whom you with i guess. If you could hear me now i just want to say 'good night'.

This were my thoughts for the whole week.

Life goes ON

2009-09-21T23:41:00.002+08:00

even if i can't accept the fact,
Life goes on
dislike it so much,
Life goes on
feels it isn't enough,
Life goes on.

Lesson learned : Life Goes On

8 more weeks

2009-07-18T23:20:00.002+08:00

Yep 8 more weeks to my Passing Out Parade(POP). Feeling damn good now cause can't wait for live firing and field camp next week and the week after consecutively. Woots. See ya people. YES I AM STILL BOTAK

Opening

2009-06-03T01:21:00.003+08:00

Looking through the steel yet seductive eyes piercing the soul of a lost boy. Getting around everything that was constructed by 'Kids Central' and 'Cartoon Network' seems impossible yet plausible. Smooth skin, sweet smelling even after baking under the cruel heat, all that matters was the exchange of the skin temperature which makes them sticks together. Untamed hairs on the under toned calves interlocking with a barren field smooth all over as running a hand on a baby's bum, with unexplored hills yet symmetrical in ways words could just mean perv.

Inspired by Family and Other Accidents by Shari Goldhagen

Paradigm Shift

2009-05-29T07:57:00.002+08:00

Choosing the path i want to take in order to achieve a great future. Apparently this is what we call tedious. Choose something that I really enjoy doing. Think about things I do on a regular basis, and know something about. So what if I enjoy playing with toys and i play toys on a regular basis and I know toys even without the packaging, should i be a toy designer? or toy critic? You see there is no definite answer but just answers for me to choose and experience myself. Whether it will work out or not that is another question i will have to answer later.

You

2009-05-18T16:20:00.000+08:00

Fill in this blank entry. Felt sorry for the past, present and future.

Grad day

2009-05-15T23:25:00.002+08:00

3 years ago i've said it before. my childishness was the reason but today you said something different and i quote "I don't know when i will see you again....". left me speechless and disbelief.

I so love THIS

2009-05-01T18:24:00.001+08:00

Happy Kaarawan
Sumayaw Sumayaw

Direct Translation

2009-04-21T22:32:00.003+08:00

The past 20 years we have been fulfilling the criteria expected by those who thinks their decision is for our own good. We were like the Power Rangers listening and taking orders from Zordon. Yes Zordon the "person", he is a guy in a liquid filled tube with his face magnified thousands of times. There is the artificial intelligent that can't even defend itself and keeps on repeating itself to introduce suspense to everyone.
Yes i am talking metaphorically about what we might turn into as we age and mature.
OR we could choose to be different, we could choose to age and mature as a MILF or FILF.
YOU CHOOSE. YOUR DECISION. YOUR LIFE.
THE FUTURE IS OURS.

Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart

2009-04-18T16:37:00.001+08:00

Lately I have been hooked to songs with soulful voices.

Tears of the Past

2009-04-11T16:11:00.003+08:00

I was clearing some of Poly stuff from my shelves when i stumble upon 2 clear folders which i use to store memories of my past. I always believe that the present is product of the past and the future is for anyone to challenge. While i am typing out this entry my inner-self is crying, weeping and creating an unstable environment which i suppose brings me to here. A friend of mine wrote this song back during my stay in Millenia Institute and it goes like this:

When i first saw you

I thought you'd be mine

And for a moment you were

Now everything's not doing so fine

Please don't go

Im sorry i messes up

Yet its so hard

We're drifting apart

I wanna love you again

I wanna kiss you gd nite

Don't wanna say gd bye

Just wanna hold you tight

You are meant for me

As im meant for you

I want you here with me

Swear my love is true

Please don't go

Stay here with me

Right by my side

We'll be free

Please don't go.

It brings me to tears when i read and look at the past, everyone was there but for a moment we know they will have to move on. This is not some Gilmore Girls or The Hills, where one would stood still awaiting for the arrival of the intended party. I guess this shall be a reply to the song:

Walking into a bar
Depressed about love and work
Taking in pints after pints
Drunk by every moment

A boring bartender
Seems to be extraordinary
But soon you came
A blurry figure

Your dressing were casual
No one took notice of you
Full of depressed me
Waiting the time of way

You began to sing
A heavenly voice
Heads turned
Feelings lifted

You were normal
Your voice was phenomenon
The way you strum
Anxious i became

Bro's For Life

2009-04-09T02:43:00.002+08:00

Thank you Syeh Muhammad Hafiz
Thank you Muhammad Zulfadhli
Thank you Ahmad Abdillah
Thank you Idham Hakim

There's no word in the dictionary can describe the emotions i am feeling right now. The present that you gave me was something i would not have imagine and if i felt that its really totally indescribable. As you all know the Gillette shaver you all gave to me back in sec 3 is still in its original packaging because it really meant a lot to me and now i am really hoping we will never and i stress the word 'never' forget each other no matter what happens. We are like a group of frat boys, fraternity is like family and we are one.

I am GERMY

2009-03-31T20:30:00.000+08:00

Yep my title explains it all.

tarnished

2009-03-30T22:02:00.003+08:00

I'm so not fulfilling what I dreamt of after my graduation.
my young blood is like jumping everywhere looking for a thrill I am still looking for. I still wanna try base jumping and rock climbing. I would like to canoe, wake board and take a plane on my own. lets see where it will all go.. where my dreams will be and whether I can fulfill my dreams. I have fulfill the hopes of the others so have I earn the ticket for a month of freedom at

SKIN

2009-03-28T01:44:00.003+08:00

Time check 1:45am and I have finally brought myself to changing my dang old blog skin and coincidentally my skin is shedding too. After baking under the Indonesian sun for 3 days and 7 days exposed under the tropical Singapore sun my skin has shown the aftermath. I really don't get people who can actually just stay at home and do nothing, so I started messaging. I started doing random activities, those I have always thought of doing. I ran every morning, surprising right after saying I would not run for the sake of running, I went trekking at Bukit Batok Hill and hills around the west area, I picked up golf and finally I started using a face mask. Sometimes talking to you brings me back, yes YOU.

Plain White T's - 1234

2009-03-24T13:53:00.001+08:00

I just have to post this video on my blog. Can't explain what i am feeling, can't seem to grasp it when the feelings stride past me.

Learn with Little Red Riding Hood

2009-03-24T13:49:00.001+08:00

This video is really mind blowing showing the skills of this German guy who was able to make an old fable to be very interactive and fun. The creator must be a well versed in Flash, MX, and many more million dollar interactive making software found on the shelves of Cyberactive and shops in Funan IT Mall.

Miley Cyrus - Fly On The Wall

2009-03-15T15:16:00.001+08:00

I don't really get it why most of her songs are hypnotizing... it makes me hum them in my head....

JoJo ft. Bow Wow - Baby It's You

2009-03-15T15:12:00.001+08:00

She will and always be the one i dream of,

The real meaning to the word "FUCK"

2009-02-24T19:44:00.002+08:00

Variant #1

In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F.*.*.*. (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from.

Variant #2

The word f*** comes from colonial times, when someone would be punished for 'prostitution' It was an acronym for the words 'For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge' F*** was written on the stocks that held these criminals because For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge was too long to go on the stocks.

Something quite true...

2009-02-24T17:50:00.001+08:00

You have pleasant and friendly personality. People look up to your wit and imagination. You are unpredictable and hardly complete what you started, which sometimes create negative impact to people around you. Your Love, Falling in love becomes your routine. Most of the time, you are lucky. You fascinate people with good taste but you never have enough with one. Although your love progresses very fast, it never lasts.

How it feels

2009-02-20T22:21:00.002+08:00

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my __________
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my ________
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my ________
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Tells me your story through your songs

2009-02-12T01:33:00.001+08:00

Its hard to phrase it, what you intended? Sing it maybe i would just understand. I was send to school you know......

(Just) You And Me

2009-02-03T17:29:00.001+08:00

Why do we care about people thinking about us?
Why are we fearing about?
What is stopping everyone and anyone?
All I want to do is hold your hand up high and say you are mine.

Realize

2009-02-03T17:05:00.003+08:00

Reading blogs just made me realize how my ex, my friend, my cousins and many others have moved on. They moved to sea to far. Planning a 5 year plan at 20 I guess its normal but planning a 5 year plan for marriage and family that's really matured. Kudos, congrats. I have not yet matured entirely and come to think of it I will be serving the country soon. Hold on there 1 more week to F-R-E-E-D-O-M.

I will be working and not traveling as i would like to save up some greens before i start serving the country and help in paying the car too.

Making it clear

2009-01-11T21:49:00.002+08:00

I didn't assume nor said those things. :)
I'm am just saying about the person i knew a year ago.
Thats all. :)

Moving Forward

2009-01-07T11:03:00.002+08:00

Started with a clean slate.
School has started.
Fighting for time and making an exit while I'm here.
The past has been sweet and sometimes sour to me.
I've learnt alot.
Putting everything to good use.
Experience has taught me alot.
The truth can never be a fairy tale.

3rd Day of the New Year

2009-01-03T01:27:00.002+08:00

Accomplishment? Perspective? Thinking?
I am still questioning myself what i would like to have and why. I lost a butterfly and earn a black eye.

The only game i know

2008-12-03T14:44:00.001+08:00

I lost and thats me in blue lying on the ground.

Predicament

2008-11-28T03:16:00.002+08:00

Its been an upscale moment, with countless loops and unexpected turnout. Interestingly everyday does not end with a grin.

Everyone has been burying themselves with notes, books and more notes, stressing on every point they do not understand though its quite late. I figure everyone is aiming for perfection. Something that surprises me is how some could just dig a gigantic hole to be buried with work and 'shit'.

I can't complain about the workload cause this is what our society is demanding from us and this could just be the truth out there. Sometimes the question is whether the society can really accept the non-norms like how was portrayed through our propaganda advertisement and educational videos.

Leave.....Leaving......Left

FUCK THE REALITY

2008-11-20T21:47:00.001+08:00

Buat perkara yang betul dimarahi
Buat perkara yang salah dipukul
Buat bodoh tak payah ke sekolah
Buat aper nak hidup kalau semua salah

I JUST MISS YOU =)

2008-11-19T23:42:00.003+08:00

Almost lover

2008-11-17T17:25:00.002+08:00

It looks like a progress but deep down its a tragedy.

Caught in the Elevator

2008-11-10T20:54:00.001+08:00

Trapped in the elevator with my classmates. Its seems like we are enjoying it.

random

2008-11-06T03:06:00.002+08:00

My SURVEY

2008-11-05T19:25:00.001+08:00

I am doing a survey for my project pls do it thanks
Click Here to take survey

Unassure

2008-10-08T12:33:00.003+08:00

Still dangling in the danger zone by a mere thin thread just wish i could fly and escape problems unintentionally landed in.

Festivities

2008-10-08T12:23:00.003+08:00

Hari Raya - Random conversations
These are the cousins that are still in their peak age. The rest are either married or just getting matured for these kind of photo shoots.

That morning at 2am went out together since my brother is driving. So squeezed 6 people into one car and went to Haji Lane then had breakfast at West Coast. So thats Hari Raya for me.

stranded island

2008-09-24T14:56:00.002+08:00

Lone Range-ger

Practically Useless

Attracts Visitors

I have no stand

2008-09-12T09:49:00.001+08:00

I don't really know what i stand for now,
Neither do i know what i am doing now.

Diriku

2008-09-09T00:37:00.005+08:00

Kehidupan ku menjadi huru-hara apabila aku mendapati kadangkala aku tidak dapat mengawal diriku lagi. Diriku seperti sesuatu lakonan drama yang begitu mengelirukan sampaikan penonton tidak pasti apa yang telah terjadi. Itulah hidupku sekarang. Aku tahu kamu kesal dengan tindakkan ku dan aku tahu kamu tidak akan percayaiku lagi kerana aku sendiri tidak tahu apa yang akan terjadi dalam masa hadapan.
Aku telah mendapatkan pendapat seorang yang pakar dan ia memang benar bahawa aku begitu sukar untuk meluahkan perasaanku kepada sesiapa sahaja. Pertama dan terakhir, itu sahaja.
Ya Allah ampunkan dosaku dan bantulah aku mengatasi kesemua cabaran yang akan ku hadapi.

Fear to express

2008-08-26T05:18:00.003+08:00

sometimes i feel abandoned

there are times i feel peaceful

truthfully i stretch inside.

Nasirah Bte Abdul Razak

2008-08-23T12:48:00.003+08:00

I have known her since back in Primary school and i think she is still mad at me for stealing her eraser in Primary 2. Even after changing the blog address she manage to find it again, maybe thanks to Google i suppose. I hope you won't tell anyone about what you have read before. Thanks and bye again.

Nelly - Ride Wit Me

2008-08-16T12:16:00.003+08:00

Smash Mouth - Walkin' On The Sun

2008-08-16T12:16:00.001+08:00

Toni Basil - Mickey

2008-08-16T10:46:00.005+08:00

Is that a guy? See the last two "cheerleaders", guy or girl?

The Clash- London Calling

2008-08-16T10:46:00.003+08:00

I don't really understand what this song all about, but the tune is super catchy that makes me play it almost every time i come to 'you tube'.

Cyndi Lauper - True Colours

2008-08-16T10:46:00.001+08:00

She have the voice of the cat but with a infectious lyrics played till now. Currently watching 'A walk to remember', good movie.

REALITY ZAI : MAT AND MINAH IMPRESSIONS. Ver 1.0

2008-08-16T10:39:00.001+08:00

This is what NS boys do in camp when they are having their break.....i see the similarity....all NS personal do weird stuff during break...there's alot more...

A walk to remember

2008-08-16T09:12:00.005+08:00

Its quite quite distorted this world is cause real-world is never this perfect.

Gotten over You

2008-08-16T09:12:00.001+08:00

Moving someone is like pushing a car on Handbrakes. Its not impossible but its tiring plus must not have high expectations. It will be stupid to push from Jurong to Pasir Ris but its not stupid to just leave it there and choose whether to come back.

Prostate Examination

2008-08-15T23:43:00.003+08:00

After 3 long dreadful but fruitful months away from school i came back for a solid 4 hours to attend a workshop which is compulsory in order for me to receive my diploma certificate in 6 months time.

He can be sometime crappy

Nut job

Pin Head

Mr 'Handsome' Raymond

I'm quite attached easily

2008-08-14T01:14:00.004+08:00

Without a doubt i feel a connection between Little Amirul ( Nas called him that) and myself. Though we have not met nor do we know we both existed but i felt a strange urge to just go over and rescue this young boy from the suppressing society of ours.

"*sigh* school started and im at it again. i have ended my class tests last week and i got the results today;

Maths : 46/50
Eng : 38/50
Malay : 26/30

maths was an easy paper. i made 2 careless mistakes and it cost me the full marks. dad was not happy because the mistakes was not that i do not know but pure carelessness. in fact we did some questions on the same problems the nite before.

english, i was careless with my tense. comprehension is always a pain and they are very strict in the marking.

next 2 days are ‘holidays’ as primary 6 students are having their oral examinations. i suppose i wont be having holidays with the amount of homework the teachers gave us."

MEDIC

2008-08-10T08:10:00.000+08:00

Authenticating........

2008-08-08T07:41:00.005+08:00

Status : Validating Connection

Sometimes

Thursday 7 August 2008

2008-08-07T09:54:00.002+08:00

ARIES - The Daredevil

Thankfully My Dad is far better than this guy

2008-08-04T10:19:00.005+08:00

I was Googling when a search result caught my attention. The website brings joy right down to my "inner child", its http://www._____.com/
Yes, its a site with my name, selecting it brings me to a blog and one of the post really saddens me. Read below.

On 21st May, my parents were in school for the parent-teacher meeting session. Mr Lim, my maths teacher, was sitting alongside Mdm Mary. I showed my parents where I sat as I was in the red team.

Soon it was my turn. Mdm Mary gave my parents my report book. I got 87.5 for my English, 92 for my Malay and of course 98 for my maths. Abah was querying about my English marks as according to him it was low. Abah said that the marking was strict as even a missed apostrophe was a loss of half a mark. Mdm Mary said they had to be strict now because this is what will happen in PSLE. I suppose that is what I will sit when I am in Primary 6. Mdm Mary also said that I was weak in my composition.

It was quick meeting. First time Abah didnt have many questions. After that we head to the hall to meet up with my mother tongue teacher, Mdm Afidah. She said that I was weak in Karangan. She said Kosa Kata. I suppose in the use of the right words.

As we headed home, Abah said that there's work to do. It is not over yet and more to come. I suppose I have to enjoy what time I have away from books before it starts all over again.

So from the text above i was really feeling grateful that my dad is not an ___ like this kid's dad. I don't like parents who are so negative towards their own child but so proud of others, then why the heck do you fuck your wife at the first place. You don't even have the right attitude as a dad. He is freaking Primary 6 and 12 year olds are starting to be figure out who they are, i know because i was one of them. Then the ____, his wife, didn't show some happiness towards her own flesh and blood. Ingrates.

What is really happening

2008-07-30T08:43:00.002+08:00

I don't think i can spend an entire lifetime with a goody two shoes nor can i spend with a wild untamed ones. Maybe its just hard to fit the entire bill but just making there is not impossible, simplicity can sometimes bring the best out of nothing. The search has always been running, results may differ, but decision was never there. Wait for the one that is just meant to be.

Looking for connection

The Secret is Out

2008-07-28T20:04:00.003+08:00

So why's it so hard for many guys to admit that when it comes to relationships, it's not all about sex? Society expects girls to talk about their feelings, but guys are often made to feel that being in love — or at least talking about it —- is uncool.
In nature, boys are normally bred in a rough environment on its own; add insane amounts of privilege amongst others, and you're living in a preppy prison.
Some guys may go on describing various women in ways he thought others wanted to hear — "total slut," "good lay," "milk for free," etc.
Truth is they obviously never had a girlfriend, 'cause if they did, they wouldn't talk about women that way.
If you have a real man around they will all nod in approval.
It's not that guys don't want to have sex. It's just not the only thing we want.

Adapted from Teenwire

To Taggers:

2008-07-28T19:57:00.002+08:00

Hi there all. I am really appreciating your tags. Really. Some make me laugh some makes me wanna come back again just to read it. Also really nice to hear people do come over, or stumble upon my blog and tells me that they read my blog. Well i think my blog is meant to express my other random side, the one that is not as retard as the normal.

Random me can't be eliminated

2008-07-28T19:50:00.005+08:00

I was breathing "Fire" that night.

NS-men really are deprived in camp.

Decepticons

Calling all AutoBOTS, Decepticon army insight.

I was just trying to take picture of the girl standing at the shop.

Ahmad and Zul

2008-07-24T15:31:00.001+08:00

Ahmad and Zul this is what i call APPLE

Sickly hour

2008-07-24T14:57:00.001+08:00

Yeap still coughing a bit here and there, mixing concoction, i'm a witch a witch from the west. The greatest sin is un-fulfilling your promises and wishes. Its not about getting there or the journey there but its more about what you going to do when you get there. My mind is thinking on its own and it shows through this entry.

Weak, Pathetic, Useless

2008-07-24T12:58:00.002+08:00

These is how i feel now really. I just hate being sick cause i am the sort once sick i will be very sick but thankfully its rare. Yes i rarely fall sick. Even if i am sick or in pain its not so unbearable. Recuperating at home right now.

Obfuscate

2008-07-17T14:28:00.003+08:00

I didn't put it across quite clearly i suppose. So its was assumed and interpreted.

Non-chalant

2008-07-07T09:36:00.002+08:00

I guess its just not meant to be and so the story goes on.

Haste

2008-07-07T09:13:00.003+08:00

It has never been easier neither.

VictoryVision 800cc

I was in a turmoil

1964

I took you in more than you allow me to

Creative

2008-06-18T11:57:00.003+08:00

Finally manage to upload this picture of a earphone i was doing and rendered. Within minutes i get this superb rendering with contour lines. I must say its not user friendly.

First post

2008-06-10T14:44:00.003+08:00

This is my first entry from the company, with a solid 4Gb memory ram and a 2.40GHz Intel core 2 Quad processor. Sounds fast?! Hell it is just look at the time needed to render a solid feature. Superbly done at record time. I was messing around with Microsoft paint and i did this

Sorry if its unclear. It spells out engineers and designers. The engineers are noisy whereas the designers are slackers, ironically they are the same people, they are the people in the room which has the best conditions to sleep in with minimum disturbances.

New software self taught while browsing around the software that are available in the bloody comp

Hey guys interested? Wana go together?

2008-06-07T12:43:00.002+08:00

Hey guys (especially Ahmad) wana go for this event? Quite interesting i guess.

2008-06-04T22:44:00.004+08:00

No more Random thoughts

Inner Cell

2008-06-04T20:47:00.005+08:00

I declare my defeat and will therefore withdraw from this battle.

Wrap tight

2008-06-03T21:28:00.004+08:00

Dear,

I was clenching on the only hope i am left with, though its not promising. Every vibration i hope it was you and it will almost be 2 weeks. Each plane that flew over the factory, reminds me of many.

yours,
Paranoia

Sinusoidal

2008-06-02T19:16:00.004+08:00

Dear,

Rag dolls, thats how i feel. There was no beep nor ring from you. Digital words were send but nothing came back. I wonder whether you are really serious about it or it was just another mere phase of yours. The other dolls told me that i was just another doll, so i am asking you, 'Am i not special?' I tried putting some effort to out stand the crowd that you are in, but every time i tried there would be forces that denies my entry. I might not be as good looking as those Barbie have dated nor am i on the same par as the one and only lover of Hello Kitty. Its up to you to accept and welcome me in or just make sit waiting for salvation army to come.

yours,
Turmoil

Discover the Discovered

2008-05-30T19:15:00.002+08:00

There is this documentary called "Google Me" also this song called "Google Me Baby" by Teyana Taylor. The documentary is about a guy Jim looking for other Jim's but with the same family name.
I did the same with my own Google-ing and found that i have 2,020 second degree matches and 37 first degree matches. WOW! Fascinating.
Also i stumbled upon this information i think you might be reading this,
-Soprano one one
-class 4D
-friends to Priscilla and Rachel
This is how effective Google is to our advancing technology and ambitions of the young mind. Will take a photo with you, I promise.

Idiots

2008-05-30T18:32:00.003+08:00

The place i was send for my internship house quite a number of people who you can confidently say 'idiots'. Seriously how many "engineers" do you need to calculate the density of molten plastic into a mold when both the volumes and mass were given but seriously they were all busy using "Autocad 2002" with "Mold adviser". Seriously they know technology is there to assist the puny human brains.
Secondly, they can really get "aroused" when they see the charts that was applied in the Microsoft word document changes according to the "Spreadsheet" that was applied with it. Don't forget order forms and receipts which were dated as early as JANUARY. In addition to that, their work attitude is really something you won't be proud off, since they will only concentrate when the clients press for it. No wonder they accomplish nothing in reference to their administrative work.
The other departments are no better, they would push the workload till it comes down to one who is at the end of the chain, which apparently is the engineering department. It doesn't stop there, the problem could be easily settled but there would be people who we call "know-it-all" but in reality they are "talk-a-lot-no-work-talk-like-the-other-person-is-deaf" who keeps on giving ideas which were really unnecessary. Not to forget the "50-year-old-lady" who totally not receiving any pleasure from her sex life, starts screaming and stress-out looking at her wallpaper which unmistakably is the group 5566.
Finally, I would really hope in my future job, the office ladies will have some elegance and at least manners. They really have tainted the image of office ladies i usually have in my dreams and imaginations.
To sum all this up i would recommend a daily dose of "mojo" or at least fortnightly.